At six o'clock in the morning on an early day in October, 2012, I strapped on a rented Cruze and began a 560-mile journey to spend some time with Holly, th' Luvly Laura's friend since childhood. I would say, in fact, that they defined the term "BFF." Holly could not, for various unavoidable reasons, attend either Laura's Memorial Service, or the military service during which her cremains were placed in my niche in a National Cemetery (no, Laura isn't a veteran, but I am... and so was Laura's Dad). In any case, when Holly announced they were going to place her parents' cremains at Arlington National Cemetery (her father was a WWII pilot ferrying unarmed planes into combat zones, I decided to be there representing both of us.
The idea was a good one, and Holly
and her family welcomed me to their family as a sort of adjunct
member. The "How It's Done," part, however, could have used
some work on my part. First, the Cruze is not designed for long trips on roads
undergoing random intermittent repairs. She's a short-coupled little
beast, and bounces and rocks unmercifully over any series of unevenness.
She's also a snappy little car and fun to drive, but that means her suspension
is stiff and every hole and bump is immediately and intimately transmitted to
your back.
Second, I had just spent nine hours in a
car alone, headed for a reunion with the best friend of my wife who's been dead
less than a year. About halfway into the trip, I began to ponder all
these things. It turns out it's possible that such a combination of
realities may not be a good idea after all... despite all it has going for it
at first glance. The "good" news is that from all that pain
comes the what follows.
For two long years I fought the
bitch,
Th’ Luvly Laura’s own family
Banshee.
The day she came, November First,
Two
Thousand and oh-nine, I walked into
A darkened house just after six at
night.
The silence and the darkness raised
the hackles
On my neck. I called her name,
and yet again, but
From the Luvly Laura came not the
smallest sound.
My heart flat quit, then stammered
once… then
Hammered hard in my unbreathing
chest.
I was a-sprint before I knew, and in
the nose of memory
I smell the gagging burning sulfur scent.
Short corners tried their vicious
best
To dump me on the floor, my wind and
heart
Knocked flat, no more to drive me
on.
But I fetched up at the foot of the
stairs
The Luvly Laura at my feet. Above
her, standing
On the air, in a Gilly Suit of
ragged black for
Midnight work, with snakeskin gloves
black as
The rags, made of Mamba skin… was
The Banshee.
Beneath the cowl a tic of white…
bleached bone…
A flash of skull, told me that here
stood death above
My Luvly Laura. And in that black
beneath the cowl
A deeper black -- its open maw, from
which come forth
A scream that shook my deepest soul
to vengeance rage.
“Not her!” I bent and kissed my
bride, my love of
Forty years and four. “Not her. Not
today.”
“Chuck?” She smiled, “I fell, I
think. I’m sorry…
I’ve made such a mess. It’s been
since eight o’clock.”
My heart broke like a child's.
It hasn't healed since.
I dared not touch or move her, so I
just made the call.
When they heard she’d been there ten
hours or more
I swear they were at the door before
I hung up the phone.
I looked up for The Banshee, but she
was gone.
It was but a fantasy my mind had played to ease the fear.
The Banshee is an evil bitch, and
comes and goes
At her own will. For two long years
I fought that
Awful witch, a fantasy that gave to
me a way to see
An enemy to face in epic battle, in
a war I knew I’d lose.
But a few fights I'd win, and keep
her with me for a bit.
The Luvly Laura knew nothing of the
pistol and
Imaginary sword I used to fight a
Gilly Suit of black
Upon the battlefields in my mind's
eye. An enemy
I could see in a place that I could
be, and the courage
That I garnered there, with my
beloved I could share.
Together we rode daily ever deeper
into The
Banshee’s lair. I drew strength from
my few wins
And she drew hers from me. But only
I, of the two
Of us, saw what lay in The Banshee’s
home…
The end of hope... the end of
her, the end of half of me.
And when it came, she was already
gone.
I'd done all I could do... to fight,
and let her hope
Until the end. And as her mind
diminished
In her disease, I was at peace. She
never knew
I'd holstered the gun and scabbarded
the sword.
It was time for silent, peaceful
death to vanquish...
The Crawfords' bitch Banshee.
And when it had and all was done, my
beloved
Gone and gone, I went to do my daily
work
And there I found... my company
punished ME
I have never known that kind of love. But that's the kind of romance I infuse into every story I can, the kind you have (for I don't think it ever truly dies).
ReplyDeleteI can imagine that love, or think I can, but I can't imagine that pain. I'm glad, for her sake, you carried it for both of you.